once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize