are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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