You smell like a Billy Joel song
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize