Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
