My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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