soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
