Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
