My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
