i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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