whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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