Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
