Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
