I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize