woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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