Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
