I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
