I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
