If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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