Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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