forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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