I think I died a long time ago.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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