Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
