a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
