shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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