I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
