You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
