So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
