what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
