So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't trust your balls anymore.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize