He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
