So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
