Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
