Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i think i just lost a toe
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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