Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
