I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
