I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
