k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
