I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
