he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
