Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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