so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize