Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
