"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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