as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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