based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
