If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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