I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
