I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
