I need help removing her.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
