just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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