You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
