Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
