only if we run a train.
done.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Are my feet made of real feet?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
did you just send me my own nude
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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