There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
