he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
