I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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