so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
