he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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