He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Send help, water and tortillas.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
