Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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