She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
