Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
