I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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