Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
