either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
