Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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