think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
