Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
