i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
