I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
